I’ll start right off the bat with a confession. For most of my life, I hated the holiday season. Couldn’t stand it. Being raised by two parents,one abusive, the other mentally unstable, with the nearest relatives 500 miles way, meant they were to be endured,not celebrated. Don’t get me wrong, I got toys, I had a roof over my head,it could have been worse. But fighting, arguing and screaming tended to put an icing on the holiday cakes that made them hard to swallow.

Flash forward  a decade or so, and I spend most of my holidays working retail. I could write chapter and verse about how much working registers during Xmas will utterly destroy your faith in humanity, but that’s not the point. I spent those months having my ears destroyed by the dulcet  tones of everyone from RuPaul to Garth Brooks crooning about happiness. Meanwhile I’m getting berated for not having Down Periscope on Blu-ray..

It took years of being married to a woman with real family and having kids for me to get any Xmas spirit whatsoever. But the problem of holiday music still remained. Years of driving up through Wisconsin some years have left me with utter hatred of “Blue Christmas” by Elvis and “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee, because after 4 PM, that’s all they play.

So what to do? Thankfully, the Internet saved me. A decade or so ago, I joined a list for fans of the Bordertown anthologies and novels. Never read them? They’re truly where Urban Fantasy as we know it begins. But one lady put together a mix of “loud” and “quiet” holiday music for people, and I got it put to disc. (Thanks Cat, where ever you are) It’s become a tradition in our family, and I’ll share it with you. Bear in mind, some are NSFW, and I’m adding a couple of personal favorites at the end that definitely aren’t, and are only for when you’ve really had it with family and shopping. Enjoy. And if you don’t like any of this, go tell Gail Martin, she started it.

PS. I’ve provided Youtube links where I can.

Cat’s Xmas Mix:

A-Souling- Lothlorien https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fk9xqxiBhc

I Believe in Father Christmas-Emerson Lake & Palmer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjggWxGYLdo

Christmas in Hollis-Run DMC. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR07r0ZMFb8

St. Stephen’s Day Murders-Chieftains & Elvis Costello https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8fPvODASoI

A Christmas Carol-Tom Lehrer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtZR3lJobjw

Christmas Eve Sarajevo-Trans Siberian Orchestra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A

Christmas At Ground Zero-Weird Al Yankovic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t039p6xqutU

Christmas in Prison-John Prine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj-Vff5HPhc

Christmas Night of the Living Dead- MXPX https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOgN-aAjh7w

December is for Cynics-The Matches https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcnLW840vP4

Father Christmas-The Kinks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2X0JzlO8SM

Christmas Wrapping-The Waitresses https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARq6uYSsUq0

Fairytale of New York-The Pogues(MY FAVORITE XMAS SONG EVER!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8

Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin-Christmas Jug Band https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ajr61sUuCo

I Won’t Be Home For Christmas-Blink-182 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy9_JjLnmZI

Oi To The World-No Doubt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFLExwIQKto

A Gun For Christmas- The Vandals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB_5VbhIBzY

I Did It For The Toys-Dance Hall Crashers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eArdl08Unc

Just Like Christmas-Low https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nhbv74Hz54

Christmas is a pain in the Arse-The Accelerators https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCxACwG7O0Y

The Christians and The Pagans-Dar Williams https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_KiHRHwaAs

The Night Santa Went Crazy- Weird Al Yankovic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u21Cnwok8Jo

Bonus Tracks:

The Season’s Upon Us-Dropkick Murphys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTx-sdR6Yzk

Zat You, Santa Claus?-Buster Poindexter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEP2IrByImw

Silent Night-Bad Religion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA2Jqve_BCk

And for those in a really bad Xmas mood…

Santa Claus Is A Fat Bitch-Insane Clown Posse.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd47CBbvhKg

Hope this helps!