Short and sweet

So, in an effort to see if/wHo/what is reading this thing, I’m offering up my first attempt at a micro short story. I’d love some feedback, just to know I am not just typing into the void. I think this is what they call flahs fiction, but I wrote it as a warm up for a 100 word story contest.

Oops.

by

Trevor Curtis

Today, the sky went out. People came outside, looking for it. All the stars and clouds were gone, replaced by black. Stocks fell and babies cried, cars crashed on streets and the world descended into chaos.

Tim was the reason. The thought went through humanity’s brain all at once. Around the world, all people named Tim died, were captured, or even raped in the next twelve hours. Above the clouds, a small alien cursed,thinking this was the last time he’d use a Windows product. Translate, my ass.

 

Outing myself 1:I’m a liberal

 “I’m sick of being ashamed. I don’t mind being dejected and rejected, but I’m not going to be ashamed about it.”-Pump up the Volume(1990)

The secret is out, I’m afraid. I can’t hide in the dark any longer. Why am I making this grand announcement now? Two things have precipitated this: Bundy Ranch and Stephen Colbert. In case you live under a rock, Colbert was named as successor to Letterman,arguably the most important late night host since Carson. And the Neo-cons of the world went apopleptic, claiming that Colbert is somehow “racist” against right wing ideas and figures. I believe this falls under the category of “let’s find the people whose sense fo humor is less than the Taliban”.

The second is that piece of puerile public theatre known as the Bundy Ranch standoff. Here’s what isn’t in dispute: dude owes twenty years of grazing fees to the Feds. Feds decided to come round up his cattle because he owes them money and broke the law. Somehow, this got turned into some kind of Robin Hood  scenario that had gun rights advocates and militia members getting into physical confrontations with protesters. Sadly, the Feds backed off. I’d love for some of those weekend warriors get into it with real fighters. It sure worked out well for Koresh, didn’t it?

All of this has left me a little annoyed and ticked off. I’m annoyed that the conversation about Colbert is not about a giant of television passing the torch. Nope, it’s about how partisan this country has become. So let me say it loud and clear:enough is enough.

I’m a liberal, and I’m pissed. I’m tired of mass media passing off centrists like Obama as liberal when he isn’t. There are only two stereotypes of liberals allowed in the discussion these days, either milquetoasts or shrill fools like Feinstein. Let me assure you, there is a bunch of us who do not resemble either of those.

I’m a liberal, yes. Mainly because Neo-cons won’t stay out of my prayers or my daughter’s vagina. I support the right to bear arms, but I also support the right of my children not to die because a bunch of gun company whores won’t regulate them fairly. I think the Democrats need to stop spying on everyone, because that’s what we have Facebook and Twitter for. I want welfare to end, but for companies, not people. I’m pro-choice, and I’m pro-what happens to kids after they’re born.I’m fed up with voter apathy, climate change denial for cash, and media consolidation, I think if 90 percent of the wealth is in the hands of ten percent of the population, and you don’t think that’s a problem, you’re a fool. I don’t like the ACA, but only because it doesn’t go far enough. I don’t care about record profits because the market is a scam, period. I think things are getting better int he US not because of the market, but because people I know are in general, doing a bit better. I think all CEOs should make no more than 250,000, and that taxes should be assessed on all income, period.

My political heroes are people like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren,who are fighting the good fight. I think we need not two parties, but several. And anyone who justifies the electoral college to me will have my new wrestling hold put on them, called the Partisan Gridlock. It’s a triangle choke while I take your wallet.

This will be continued shortly. What will I come out as next? Hint:it’s not as a brony

Grinding it out vs. Goal oriented.

One of the biggest problems I have is consistency of writing. One of the reasons I got this website made was to force myself into writing consistently. I love those people who have so much story in them that they could just sit in front of a computer for years until their  hearts give out with joy. The number of successful writers who are that way number in the statistically insignificant.

My writing gurus, Joe Eszterhas and Chuck Wendig, both are advocates of the sit down and write like a motherfucker as much as possible. They’re advocates of  the grind enough shit out, and eventually you’ll get something you can polish into a diamond. It’s a formula you’d be well advised to look at, since it’s worked for pretty much everyone you can find on a bookshelf.

Here’s my problems with that theory of work. I can’t do it. If I sit down in front of a computer with no goals to write for an hour, all you’re going to get is self-involved BS about how my life sucks. If I really wanted to do that, I’d be back on Tumblr. I’d also be failing miserably at my policy of trying to be more positive in my public outporings.

So what should I do? I think I need to have things be goal oriented.I think this is due to having a BA in Journalism, where I was drilled in the school of word efficiency. This is fine for me, since my writing idols are people like Joe Lansdale and Andrew Vachss. Vachss said and I’m paraphrasing a lot, that “writing should be like a prizefight, with each sentence being like a jab or a feint, setting up for the roundhouse  at the end of the story” He believes in word economy, of using every word just right.

But put me on a deadline with a goal, and all bets are off. I’m a ninja  at getting into it once i have a goal and the clock is ticking. I think the trick for me is getting into that mode,that mindset of got to get it done, now. Yes, I did Nano wrimo, but I spent half the time I should have, because I work better under pressure. Boy, was I trained well. Can you say Pavlov?

So, dear readers(all five of you that aren’t related) I’m putting it to you, do I do a short story? A novel? A rewrite? I need a goal. If anyone knows of a site for finding out who’s looking for what for short stories, let me know. Me, I have a  wife to wake up from her nap and garbage that needs to be taken out.

Lazy entry:500 words about stuff I’m grateful for

Can’t think of a topic to write on that won’t make me sound like a whiny ass hipster, so going to try and be positive instead. Here’s some random words about what I’m grateful for.

My Wife and Children. Words can never do justice to the ways in which my life has improved by their presence. I’d like to tell you that children have made me more patient and tolerant, but at least they make me try to be, anyway. And my wife is honestly, the best friend I’ve ever had, which leads me to the next  entry.

Friends(aka Family): My biological family is a story for when I finally decide to write my autobiography, but  lets face it, I’m trying to be positive. But my friends, they’re the real deal. How they’re still friends with me after all these years is beyond me. I mean, I suck as a friend, let’s be honest. I have left behind a trail of unpaid bills, forgotten social engagements, and enough ride cajoling to choke a horse. I’ve slept on their couches for years, and was the last of us to bother to grow up. I owe them so much, I can never repay. And just when I think they’re quit of me, some of them drive six hours to see me at my first(and hopefully not last) book signing. Even when it meant driving in Indiana, where there’s at least six portals to Hell.

The South: Man, I’m going to get a lot of crap for this. But there’s a lot to recommend down here. First of all, it’s got good weather. Yes, it’s not California or Texas, but both of those have too many Californians and Texans in them, and I’ve never gotten along well with people from either place. Plus, compared to someplace like Chicago, the rates of official corruption are almost nothing.Minus side, is that like the place I last lived(Kenosha,WI), there’s a church on every corner. Bad part is that unlike Kenosha, there isn’t a bar on every opposite corner.  Plus, everyone here is so nice,even when they’re assholes to you. If someone’s a jerk to your face  down here, chances are, he isn’t a native.

Magazines: I could do entire columns on my love for music,movies or books. I shoudl do one on magazines, but not going to. Not sure why I find them appealing. It’s not like I couldn’t get most of what’s in them off the net. Maybe they remind me of  the past, when I’d spend hours reading magazines in Shinders(RIP) or Borders(RIP2).  Even if I was in there reading Terrorizer or Rue Mogue, the act fo doing that combined being in public, which I have issues with, and reading, which I’m an addict of. I could subscribe to most of what I get, and probably should, if just for economic reasons. But it takes me back to go hunting for the latest issue on the stands. It reminds me of going to Chicago to get the latest issue of Hit List or Locus, because no one within fifty miles were carrying either.

That’s it for now, feel free to comment, because gods knows, my writerly ego could use the stroking.