Pebble

So here’s the new year, folks. Not continuing the story from back in October because frankly, not sure where it was going. Been away from the keyboard for so long. I need to get my name out, so I accepted a deal doing music reviews for Witches and Pagans magazine. Hopefully it will spread my name out, and generate good things. My quest for more positivity continues forward, though life has thrown some rather large monkey wrenches in that one. It’s hard to count pebbles against the mountain in the skull. But I have to try, otherwise I turn into my namesake.

My email addy is named after Elric, the lead character in a series by Moorcock. he’s an albino servant of the gods of Chaos. I was struck by the idea as a teenager about the idea that wherever Elric went, things just went to shit. Since I was raised by parents who combined mood swings ¬†with cold distancing, I have had a crippling amount of self-doubt for decades. I hope to raise Aubry in a better environment, but sometimes fear I’ve passed on some of those traits.

I hope that things will be better in 2014,but for every positive thing or small step, I meet severe resistance. It’s hard, but I’m getting better at getting back up and not drowning in my own negativity.

There’s a really great story about a man who went to a monk in a small village, reputed to be a great wizard. After a few days, he’s bored and asks the monk if he can see some magic. The monk walks over to a nearby hill. He asks the man if he’d like to see the monk move the hill with magic. The man, awed, says yes. The monk walks over to the hill, and picks up a pebble. He then takes it over across a nearby creek. The monk does this several times, the man getting madder and madder. He finally stops the monk,saying” I thought you were going to move this hill by magic?”

The monk stops, smiles and says”I will keep doing this, day by day. Another man will keep doing it after I am dead. And this will keep on, through generations, until the hill is moved. That is magic.”

Hopefully,this is just a pebble, in the hill that is to be my writing in 2014.

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